Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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