So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
