oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
