i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
