i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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