I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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