Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
