I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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