Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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