"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
