still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
