Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I deserve this hangover.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
