Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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