so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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