then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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