i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My dick has a subreddit
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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