put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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