ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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