dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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