if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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