so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
