FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
