when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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