if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
