The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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