Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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