There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
