i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
