did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
