like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have already put on my inside pants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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