she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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