it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
