woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
