$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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