i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
