East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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