You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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