Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
