She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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