I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
