I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
