this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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