They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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