Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
