Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
