Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
