eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
