I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
