I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
