i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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